I Have Issues

Yep, I have issues. Many of you (especially my dear husband) will say, "well duh!" ;-)

But I'm going to try to be serious for a minute. Because everyone has their own "issues," their quirks, their personal obstacles... some of them are obvious, but some of us fight some pretty tough battles every day that many never know about.

I just read this amazing blog post this morning. It's about me. My friend Andrea wrote it. She may say it isn't about me, but it really is. She puts it into words much better than I ever could, so just go read it! Please?

Good Girl Gone Redneck: Mental Health Blog Day #mhblogday:  It's Mental Health Blog Day today. I only found out a few minutes ago via Twitter. But I had to participate. I have to. Mental health matters. It matters to me. It should matter to you. (read more)

So apparently today is Mental Health Blog Day, and I didn't know that until I read my friend's post. But I'm going to go with it. I'm jumping in. I'm taking the opportunity to just put it out there. I have a blog - a very new blog without much on it, but it's here. And I have mental health issues. And part of what I'm hoping to accomplish with my blog is to work through some of my issues. To find more people with similar issues. To let other people know they aren't alone. Friends like Andrea have helped me realize even when I feel the most alone, I'm not. Others feel this too. I struggle almost every day with depression and anxiety (among other things). Some days the struggle is harder than others. But sharing with friends can make it a little less hard.

It seems so hard to talk about it. To tell people I have depression, anxiety, maybe more... but it shouldn't be. Do people who break a bone have trouble telling others? Does someone with diabetes have trouble telling people? Do people who wear glasses or contacts have trouble talking about it? Mental health conditions shouldn't be any harder to talk about than physical health conditions. There shouldn't be such a stigma. Others are talking about it more, so maybe I should too. If enough of us start talking about it, maybe that stigma will start to fade a little more...

One of my favorite parts of Andrea's post:

SO many people out there are experiencing mental health related issues, and they're terrified to say so. The stigma that they see? Those words? 

"She's nuts. Crazy." "What is WRONG with him?" "What's his problem?" "I'm tired of her canceling plans. I'm done. Let her find some new friends to cancel on." 

It makes so much sense to you to react this way. I'm not mad at you for doing so. I just want you to understand. Recognize there can be so much more than the eye can see. Use your gut. Sense it. Maybe offer to watch the kids while she takes a shower. Heck, a bath, even! Offer to come over to her house for the playdate. Pick her up if she's afraid to drive. Talk to him about YOUR therapist. Or your mom's. Whatever. Make it real. Make it normal. Make it okay. 

Because it is. It's okay. Really. 

And if it doesn't feel like it is, it WILL BE. I promise.

Yep. Thank you Andrea! I'm blogging for mental health too! Click here for more - http://www.yourmindyourbody.org/apamental-health-month-blog-day-links-round-up-2013/

It is important. It's important to think about, and it's important to talk about.

Ok... here goes!

So I've never had a blog before, but I think I've kind of always been a writer. I have been in my head, anyway. I had a diary off and on growing up, and tried keeping a journal as an adult, and when I did, I always felt like it helped to write about what was going on in my life... but I've never kept up with it. Not actually writing stuff out, anyway. I tend to write things out in my head a lot though (and edit and re-write - in my head... yeah I've got issues!), and I've been active in online forums, support groups, and message boards for years - even before a lot of the world knew what an online forum was. If you know me in real life, I'm not typically a talkative person. I am definitely an introvert, and can be pretty shy. But when I write (or post or whatever), I can go on and on sometimes... so you have fair warning now. You can stop reading any time you want! ;-)

Anyway, I've decided to stop writing only in my head, and start writing online. Not sure yet how many people I'll share this with, but we'll see! If you're a friend or family member reading this, and you find out something you didn't know, please don't feel like I was trying to hide anything from you. I've always been better at sharing when there's a computer screen in front of me than when there's a person in front of me for some reason. The more I use online forums, the more I see how much it helps just to find other people going through similar things too. Even if someone doesn't have any advice for me, a virtual hug and an "I understand - I've been there!" can help so much. So I guess another reason I've decided to go ahead and start the blogging thing, is if there's anyone out there that goes through similar "stuff" to what I go through, maybe reading about my experiences can help you feel a little better too. So whoever you are reading this right now, here's a virtual (((HUG))) for you!! :-D

Why now? Several reasons... It's March. That means my birthday is this month. This year will be 39 (UGH!). For some reason, that's scaring me (I'm noticing that word - scared - a lot lately! Grrrrr!). Anyway, 39 means that 40 is just a year away. And yes, I figured that out all by myself! ;-) I have a good life, and do feel truly blessed, but I'm also not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life - in many many ways. So I'm dedicating this next year to changing some things. By the time 40 hits, I intend to feel much more fabulous! :-)

Besides being my birthday month, March signals the start of Spring and a season of rebirth and renewal all around us, so it felt like a good time to really "kick off" this new effort within myself too. This past month, we also saw the start of the Chinese Year of the Snake. I saw a post on Facebook that said "The Year of the Snake is a year of transformation, a year for introspection... Just as the Snake will shed its skin to reveal a new, inner self, the Year of the Snake represents an opportunity for growth through introspection. Consider the path of the Snake, quietly observant, thoughtfully planning, and preparing for opportunity when it arises." So, again, sounds like the perfect time to get off my butt and get started with a few things! The Year of the Snake can be my year of transformation. As a weird number person, I like the date 3-1-13 too! ;-)

So here I am, blogging, posting, whatever... And I'm skared, but I'm doing it. Let me know your thoughts - about the blog, the post, life in general, whatever! Let me know you were here! And if you got this far... ;-) thanks for reading!

Ali
a.k.a. AliKat, MamaKat, SkaredyKat